Conflict in Relationships

Conflict in Relationships

Relationship conflict can refer to any ongoing tension, disagreement, or emotional upset between two or more individuals in a relationship (e.g., couples, family members, close friends). It often arises when needs, expectations, values, or communication styles clash.

The information provided on this website is for informational purposes only and is not intended as professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult with a licensed mental health professional for advice specific to your situation.

We seem to be arguing a lot recently, does that mean our relationship is doomed?

Conflict itself isn’t inherently unhealthy, it can lead to deeper understanding and connection when navigated constructively. However, problems arise when conflict becomes chronic, escalated, or avoided entirely, leading to emotional disconnection, resentment, or relational breakdowns.

A common pattern, especially in couples, is to ignore challenges until they hit a breaking point.

If you have ever found yourself asking:

• Why do we keep having the same argument?
• Is this what a relationship is supposed to feel like?
• Can we actually fix this?
• Would things be better if I just kept quiet?
• Why do I feel so alone, even when we’re together?

These questions don’t mean your relationship is broken, they mean you care. Let’s work together to understand what’s beneath the conflict.

Does couples therapy even work?

Couples therapy can be highly effective, with around 70–75% of couples reporting significant improvement in their relationship, and up to 90% noticing better communication and emotional health.¹

On average, couples begin to see benefits after 12–20 sessions. Success is most likely when both partners are committed, attend consistently, and actively apply the skills learned between sessions. ¹

A common pattern in therapy, especially in couples, is to ignore challenges until they hit a breaking point. This can lead to problems being “bigger” than needed and can also increase the time required to resolve issues in therapy.

How can therapy help our relationship?

In our work together, we’ll focus on rebuilding connection and finding a sense of balance in your relationship. I aim to create a safe, supportive space where each person feels heard, respected, and understood when navigating change or conflict.

Relationships are layered and emotional, and I approach them with empathy and curiosity. Alongside thoughtful reflection, I’ll also offer concrete skills you can use in everyday moments to help you communicate more clearly, manage difficult emotions, and work through the patterns that are keeping you stuck.

When working with relational conflict, an integrated approach is often the most effective. Here are several therapy modalities I use in my practice:

Solution Focused Therapy: Using your relationship goals as a guide, we will make a plan with active steps you can take each week for better resolution of conflict and stress while recognizing moments of success. This approach helps manage blame and defensiveness and allows you to reconnect through shared solutions and practical strategies you can use in day to day living.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Useful for addressing individual thoughts and behaviors that impact the relationship, such as resentment, betrayal, or maladaptive coping strategies. CBT can also help reframe misunderstandings and manage emotional responses more effectively.

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Skills (DBT) (e.g., DEAR MAN, GIVE, FAST): Learning concrete skills for reflective listening, naming/expressing core emotions, setting boundaries, and collaborating on solutions instead of “winning” are essential for conflict repair.

Effective Screening: Couples therapy is not always appropriate. In working together, I may recommend one or more of you seek out your own individual therapy before (or in addition to) doing couples work. If there is active abuse, ongoing safety issues, severe untreated mental health issues, or complex behavioral concerns (active gambling, substance use, etc.), then couples therapy may not be appropriate and a referral will be made.